Digitally generated
by Tod Maffin
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I have an idea.
Our American friends are having their midterms later this year, right? Already it's a mess. Redistricting, voter ID laws, dark money.
Here's an idea. We run it. Canada. We run the midterms.
This is not as crazy as you think. We're part of the world's largest regional security organisation, with 57 participating nations, and we've sent observers to every American general and midterm election since 2002.
T O D B I T
Seventeen U.S. states have laws that prohibit international election observers, putting them in direct violation of commitments made by all 57 OSCE member states (of which the U.S. is a member).
Dispatches from the democracy ward
Our own deployment agency, CANADEM, has sent thousands of observers to over 150 missions worldwide, including Azerbaijan and Moldova. We have looked after failed nation states before. We have been training in Mozambique. We can handle Nebraska.
The difference is that until now, Canada has just observed quietly. This time, they should give it all to us. We lead the mission. We have matching lanyards already.
This shouldn't be a new concept to the Americans either. The Carter Center has led observation missions in Panama, Nicaragua, and Haiti. And their government, under both parties, has invaded countries and set up their own elections.
Water in the queue, coats at the door
So what would this look like?
Canadian officials would first deploy to swing districts in Arizona, Georgia, and Pennsylvania.
Open carry is banned within 500 metres of any polling station.
We'll make Election Day a federal holiday so your boss can't make you work through it.
Campaign spending caps. You get X dollars. That's it. A hedge fund won't be able to buy a Senate seat.
Our election cycles run, at most, 51 days. No more years of cable news panels.
We bring back letting people have water in the lineups.
T O D B I T
Georgia's 2021 Election Integrity Act made it a misdemeanour for anyone to hand a bottle of water to a voter standing in a lineup, with penalties of up to 12 months in jail and a $1,000 fine.
They can even have our federal redistricting process.
For one, it's not in the politicians' hands at all, up here. Maps are redrawn by independent, non-partisan commissions after each census. Each commission is chaired by a judge, with the other two members appointed by the Speaker of the House of Commons; historically, they've tended to be university professors and civil servants.
MPs can comment, but they can't override the result.
The quietest empire of referees
But it's what America wouldn't get, more than what we can offer.
Under Canadian management, there would be no candidates going on television to call the other side horrible names before ballots are counted. No county clerks being harassed at their homes. Nothing rigged. (Not that we wouldn't want to; we're just not capable of that level of coordination. It took us over a century to declare that one of our national sports was hockey.)
The most dramatic you'd get from us was a press conference by a Canadian official saying that certain aspects of the process "raised questions that merit reflection."
So, yeah. We’re just waiting for the Americans to pass us the puck.
They’ve been playing without a ref for too long.
Trivia
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What the Fact?!
Federal Election Administration
Canada | United States | |
|---|---|---|
Election administration | Conducted by Elections Canada, an independent, non-partisan agency. | Administered primarily by individual states and local jurisdictions; campaign finance oversight is handled federally by the FEC. |
Electoral districts | Federal boundaries are periodically redistributed through independent commissions after the census. | Congressional districts are generally drawn by states, with methods varying by state. |
Voter registration | Canada maintains a National Register of Electors and allows eligible voters to register or update their information during the election period, including at the polling station. | Registration rules vary by state, including deadlines, procedures, and eligibility verification requirements. |
Election day | Federal elections are normally held on a Monday under the Canada Elections Act. | Federal elections are generally held on a Tuesday under U.S. federal law. |
Campaign length | Federal campaigns must be at least 37 days and no more than 51 days. | There is no fixed national campaign period; candidates often campaign for many months or years before an election. |
Campaign spending | Political parties, candidates, and many third parties are subject to regulated spending limits. | No overall spending cap exists for federal candidates; campaign finance is regulated through contribution rules and disclosure requirements. |
Voting options | Electors may vote on election day, at advance polls, at Elections Canada offices, or by mail. | Voting methods vary by state and can include election-day voting, early voting, and mail voting. |
Election management structure | One national election agency applies a common federal framework across the country. | Election administration is decentralized among 50 states and thousands of local jurisdictions. |
Returning officers / local administrators | Returning officers are appointed to administer elections in each federal riding under Elections Canada. | Election officials are selected according to state and local laws, using a variety of appointment and election methods. |
Political finance transparency | Parties and candidates must file financial reports that are publicly disclosed. | Federal candidates and committees file disclosures with the Federal Election Commission. |
The Funny Bone
Steep fertilizer prices squeeze farmers
by Greg Kearney; used under licence.
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Made in Canada
Ladies Love Units is a Toronto based custom wig company founded by husbands Kevin Bailey and Willie Ballard.
The business was inspired by a deeply personal experience when Kevin’s twin sister was diagnosed with cancer and needed a high quality, natural-looking wig that was comfortable and easy to wear. What began as an effort to help a loved one soon evolved into a mission-driven company focused on restoring confidence and self-esteem for people experiencing hair loss.
Over the years, Ladies Love Units has gained recognition through appearances on Canadian television and collaborations within the beauty industry.