by Tod Maffin
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1857, Toronto. The Canadian Institute is having a meeting. Back then, the Institute was a learned society where scholars, clergy, and professionals gathered to discuss science, literature, and culture. It’s still around today as a public science education organization.
At that meeting, the Reverend A. Constable Geikie stands up and declares the Canadian dialect as "corrupt." It sparked debate there, sure, but also kind of stuck with us.
British Lite?
For decades, we've been told Canadian English is nothing special — just watered-down British with some American bits thrown in. We're linguistic comfort food: familiar, maybe a bit boring, but gets the job done.
Except that's complete nonsense. Any linguist worth their salt will tell you Canadian English is its own thing entirely. We sit on chesterfields wearing toques, measuring everything in kilometres, while still talking about things being "a few clicks down the road."
The Bestseller Nobody Updated
Katherine Barber got this. When she published the Canadian Oxford Dictionary in 1998, Canadians went absolutely wild for it. A dictionary became a bestseller. Think about that for a second… we were so starved for someone to acknowledge our language that we lined up to buy a book that finally said "eh" was a real word.
But that dictionary hasn't been updated since 2004. Bush was still president. Facebook was for college kids only. The iPhone didn't exist. Yet somehow, this ancient reference is still what Canadian editors rely on because—well, what else do we have?
The current edition doesn't include "Wi-Fi." It still calls Haida Gwaii the “Queen Charlotte Islands.” The entry for "Indian" reads like something from my uncle who lives in Facebook Groups would say.
Oxford closed its Canadian dictionary division in 2008 and says it doesn’t plan to update it. The government won't fund a replacement. So we're stuck letting Americans and Brits decide what counts as Canadian, which feels about as sensible as asking your neighbours to name your kids.
T O D B I T
Last year, Editors Canada partnered with Nelson Education to launch a new Canadian English Dictionary project. Public demos were expected to begin that year, but the volunteer team have only released a few words from the letter Q so far.
And honestly? Our dictionary crisis isn't even the worst of it. Canada has more than 70 Indigenous languages, many hanging by a thread. For some communities, a dictionary might be all that stands between their language and extinction. These groups are fighting with shoestring budgets to preserve entire worldviews while we can't even keep our English dictionary current.
Messy, Borrowed, and Beautiful
The good Reverend Geikie wasn't entirely wrong — Canadian English is “corrupt” in the traditional sense. It's messy, it borrows from everywhere, it breaks rules left and right. But that messiness is precisely what makes it ours. It reflects who we are: a nation of compromise. Finders of the middle way. Practical, adaptable.
We need to update that dictionary, and soon. Not because we're desperate for validation, but because language shapes how we see ourselves. Let our words gather dust, and we lose more than spelling rules, we lose the stories that make us who we are.
Languages change. Ours has, too.
A Canadian dictionary should keep up, not sit in a museum.
Which Canadian province recognizes both English and French as official languages?
!THE WEEKLY CROSS-CANADA POLL
Have Your Say!
Should Canada fund a new Canadian English dictionary with tax dollars?
Last Week’s Results
THE WEEK THAT WAS
The News You Didn’t Hear… But Should Have
There’s Still Good News Out There ❤
A B.C. couple started getting calls from frustrated Napoleon grill owners after their number somehow appeared online as the company’s customer service line... and, in true Canadian fashion, decided to help.
Thunder Bay, Ont., climbers rescued Boomer, a Tennessee hunter's 8-year-old dog, who was stranded for two nights after falling off a cliff near Fallingsnow Lake.
Canadian comedian Veronika Slowikowska, known as @veronika_iscool, just joined SNL’s 51st season, following in the footsteps of legends like Dan Aykroyd, Norm MacDonald, and Mike Myers.
Still sharp: At 92, Mervin MacPhee is still behind the butcher’s block at MacPhee’s Meats in P.E.I., cutting steaks and roasts while carrying on a four-generation family legacy.
Life goals: A few weeks shy of her 98th birthday, Audrey Cooper is still running Art With Panache, the downtown London, Ontario gallery she opened at 86 to showcase local artists.
A former Canada Border Services officer is running more than 75 ultramarathons across the country, 50 km a day, to raise awareness for mental health.
Former Raptors star Pascal Siakam received an honorary degree this week from the University of New Brunswick.
Trade War: Canada vs U.S. 🥊
F*** around and find out: The company behind Jack Daniel’s says Canadian sales have fallen more than 60% amid a widespread boycott keeping U.S. alcohol off provincial shelves.
Canadian small businesses say they need support to weather Trump’s cross-border trade storm, with many now seeking extra financing to stay afloat.
Most of Canada’s retaliatory tariffs against the U.S. were lifted Monday, following Prime Minister Mark Carney’s announcement last month.
The First Peoples 🪶
Some small Indigenous businesses are pausing U.S. shipments due to Trump-era tariffs, despite trade ties that predate the founding of both Canada and the United States.
A First Nations woman is being sued for claiming four women are pretending to be Indigenous, with the plaintiffs seeking more than $500,000 in damages and retractions.
Science! 🥼
Is Elon entering your cortex covered by OHIP?: Two Toronto hospital patients are now the first Canadians to have Elon Musk’s Neuralink brain chip implanted in the country.
Canada is building its first lunar rover, a Canadensys Aerospace project set to lead the country’s first planetary exploration mission.
The Sorry Files 🤦♂
Baby’s 1st spam call: An Ontario doctor was fined $5K for improperly using hospital records to contact parents of newborns and offer circumcision services at his clinic.
The “Queen of Canada” livestreamed her arrest as Saskatchewan RCMP raided her cult compound, arresting 16 adults, including leader Romana Didulo, over a firearms investigation.
Sunflowers? Illegal: The city of Saskatoon has ordered a resident to remove sunflowers sprouting along her sidewalk or face a $250 fine.
Dystopian Hellscape 🔥
Florida plans to become the first state to eliminate long-standing vaccine mandates, calling them "immoral" intrusions on people's rights that hamper parents' ability to make health decisions for their kids.
We obviously live in a simulation: Shein is investigating after a shirt on its site was modelled using an image of Luigi Mangione.
The Trump administration is moving to fire nearly 500 Voice of America journalists, continuing its push to scale back the federally funded outlet it has called “radical.”
Battle of conservative news: Right-wing U.S. media network Newsmax is suing Fox News over what it claims are anticompetitive tactics to suppress competition.
A U.S. federal court has overturned the Trump administration’s $2B funding cuts to Harvard, ruling the move violated the university’s free speech rights.
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MY WORK THIS WEEK
In Case You Missed It
HOW CANADA’S COMPANIES ENDED THE WEEK
The Market
Royal Bank | |
TD Bank | |
Enbridge | |
ScotiaBank | |
Bank of Montreal | |
CP Rail | |
Shopify | |
Canadian Tire | |
Loblaws | |
Tim Hortons (RBI) | |
Dollarama | |
Rogers |
I write this newsletter because I care about this country, and I know you do too.
There’s no big media boss here. No hedge fund. Just one person with a keyboard, some facts, and a healthy dose of Canadian side-eye.
If that’s worth something to you, please consider chipping in if you can. 💚
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