Come Meet Me and Jocelyn!
We’re doing the Tod’s Nanaimo Infusion event again this year [▶️ watch video] — April 24-26. It’s an invitation for anyone (you do not have to be American or work in healthcare) to come to Vancouver Island and take in the beauty, quirkiness, and friendly people of our area. [get more info]
by Tod Maffin
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So, how Canadian are you, anyway? Take this quiz and find out!
When a sentence starts with “So buddy comes over to the shop,” what is buddy most likely to be?
A friend?
A police officer?
A well-meaning idiot?
Or literally someone named Buddy.
"Dave is a massive tool." Is Dave...
Handy?
A jackass?
A very strong person?
Or blessed when the Queen was handing out the family jewels?
"That concert was mental." Was it...
Insane in a good way?
Did something go badly wrong?
Did it feature a lot of sensory experiences?
Or did it make you think deeply?
Your friend tells you to "Just give 'er." Should you...
Cave in to something you don't want to do?
Give someone a gift?
Accelerate your car fast?
Or ignore what someone's telling you?
If you ended up at the legion after, what did you most likely do next?
If Sarah is a "real keener," is she...
Enthusiastic to the point of being annoying?
Good at telling jokes?
Someone who cries too easily?
Or a busybody?
Someone hands you a two-four. Do you...
Drink it?
Burn it?
Use it to build a house?
Or hand it right back and apologize?
What do you put in a parkade?
Juice?
Your children?
Your car?
Or nothing, because parkade is a word I just made up?
If buddy biffs it, what did buddy do?
Slip and fall?
Miss an opportunity?
Dance like Elaine from Seinfeld?
Or fall asleep at an inopportune moment?
The garburator is broken. You should call...
The police?
Your city's garbage pickup people?
An appliance repair person?
Or a linguistics professor?
ANSWERS:
A massive tool is also an idiot.
If something’s mental, it’s like metal — hardcore, in a good way.
If you’re givin’ her, you are pedal to the metal in your car
Keeners are enthusiastic about things to the point of exhaustion
A two-four is a flat of beer (24 beers)
A parkade is a multi-storey parking structure
If you biff it, you’ve fallen. And people probably laughed at you. (Note: In the eastern parts of Canada, "biff" is more likely to mean you've thrown something. In other parts, "biff" means to vomit.)
A garburator is a garbage disposal grinder in a sink
Trivia
In Quebec, what does “dep” refer to?
— 30 —
Join the discussion about this issue in my Discord community
The Weekly Poll
Do you use a lot of Canadian slang when you speak?
Last Week:
What You Missed This Week
The Good News ♥️
A mother in Vaudreuil, QC, has invented a hairbrush for people with sensory sensitivities.
Passports not processed within 30 days will now be free of charge.
Thousands of people in Fort St.John, BC, will soon have family doctors.
Toonie gets a Glow-up- The Royal Canadian Mint has released a glow-in-the-dark toonie to celebrate the 50th birthday of the CN Tower.
Ensemble Moncton, a harm-reduction organization in NB, has launched a 15-person bus to help the city's most vulnerable get the care and services they need.
SCIENCE!!!!!! 🔭
B.C’s decision to end daylight saving time has left sundial enthusiasts in the dark.
The Government of Canada has announced a $280 million, multi-year project with Aspect Biosystems to advance bioengineered cellular medicines for serious metabolic and endocrine diseases.
Wind Turbines on Wolfe Island, ON, are turning back on after a blade failure caused widespread shutdowns.
Space Seeds- The National Tree Seed Centre in Fredericton, NB, sent a package of five seed species to space on board Artemis II.
The First Peoples 🪶
Cee Peal of Nisga’a First Nation has been named the Vancouver Public Library 2026 Indigenous Storyteller in Residence.
Lubicon Lake Cree Nation is building climate-resilient structures in response to the increasing regularity of debilitating smoke from wildfires and the impacts of environmental change.
A life-sized horse puppet is connecting young audiences to Indigenous identity.
The Stanley Cup was delivered by dog sled to the Yukon Native Hockey Tournament.
Wild Things 🐻❄️
Wild Goose Chase- A loose goose raised havoc at a Starbucks on Wilfred Laurier University’s campus.
A Masai giraffe born on February 22 at the Toronto Zoo has been named Imara following a public vote.
Neighbours in Langford, BC, came together to raise funds for a dog's emergency spine surgery.
Across Canada 📍
Top of the Class- Three Canadian Universities have ranked in the top 50 in the world.
The city of Toronto repaired over 7,000 potholes in 24 hours.
The NDP has elected Avi Lewis to lead the party.
Advance voting has begun for 3 by-elections happening in Ontario and Quebec.
Quebec’s newest soccer team, FC Supra, has announced its roster ahead of its debut season.
Junos 🎶
Big Yellow Juno- Canadian legend Joni Mitchell became the 3rd person ever to receive a lifetime achievement award; it was presented to her by Prime Minister Mark Carney.
Pop icon Nelly Furtado was inducted into the Canadian Music Hall of Fame.
Girl Power- The Beaches made history as the first ever all-women band to win Group of the Year 3 years in a row.
Comedian Adam Christie won the Comedy Album of the Year award for his hilarious album Dragonflies.
Canada’s Market This Week
Royal Bank | |
TD Bank | |
Enbridge | |
ScotiaBank | |
Bank of Montreal | |
CP Rail | |
Shopify | |
Canadian Tire | |
Loblaws | |
Tim Hortons (RBI) | |
Dollarama | |
Rogers |